A fine welcome back present this is.
“She’s not even fully grown yet. This is ridiculous!”
It’s not my fault a grown man can’t overpower a cat.
Well, ‘vacation’.
Well, extremely complicated series of events that involved the Russian mafia, a suitcase full of antiques and hitchhiking across Europe with a cat.
In any case, they are operating in full capacity once again, and will begin to answer letters once more.
And I assure you, Edward Nigma is my real name. As for whether or not it’s the one I was given at birth… Well. I’m sure you can deduce that.
Does watching reruns of Jeopardy count as work or particularly interesting?
If not, then no.
Lizzy: I am going to find these daddies!
Eddie: I— No matter what, I am your father!
Lizzy: I know but maybe they’ll talk to me about boy’s butts
Eddie: …………. Lizzy why do you say these things.
“Nobody likes to be called a copy, especially not the astronomical amounts of Edward Nigmas floating around.
I see you have a daughter that isn’t just a sidekick you picked up at some point. Should I congratulate you?”
Eddie: And as for your other statement… I am not the Bat. I not rely on a child to do my work. No matter how smart she is, children break easier, no? … Especially my daughter.
“And there’s no need to take that tone with me. I am reformed, after all.
Children break rather easily, yes, but the Bat seems to keep forgetting that. At least you seem to have more sense.”
Eddie: Here, I’ll make you a medal.
I’ll accept it with pride. I see retirement hasn’t lessened your ability to be obnoxious. In fact, it seems to have increased it.
You can have a gold star for that too.
Eddie: I think I’ll put it right next to your virginity! You give me such lovely gifts.
“Or, barring that, selecting a witty comeback of your choice in order to show me how much I have been ‘burned’.
In any case, this was quite entertaining. I’m sure Edward will be back to ask me what on earth I’ve been doing on the internet today soon enough.”
Lizzy: I am going to find these daddies!
Eddie: I— No matter what, I am your father!
Lizzy: I know but maybe they’ll talk to me about boy’s butts
Eddie: …………. Lizzy why do you say these things.
“Nobody likes to be called a copy, especially not the astronomical amounts of Edward Nigmas floating around.
I see you have a daughter that isn’t just a sidekick you picked up at some point. Should I congratulate you?”
Eddie: And as for your other statement… I am not the Bat. I not rely on a child to do my work. No matter how smart she is, children break easier, no? … Especially my daughter.
“And there’s no need to take that tone with me. I am reformed, after all.
Children break rather easily, yes, but the Bat seems to keep forgetting that. At least you seem to have more sense.”
Eddie: Here, I’ll make you a medal.
I’ll accept it with pride. I see retirement hasn’t lessened your ability to be obnoxious. In fact, it seems to have increased it.
You can have a gold star for that too.
Lizzy: I am going to find these daddies!
Eddie: I— No matter what, I am your father!
Lizzy: I know but maybe they’ll talk to me about boy’s butts
Eddie: …………. Lizzy why do you say these things.
“Nobody likes to be called a copy, especially not the astronomical amounts of Edward Nigmas floating around.
I see you have a daughter that isn’t just a sidekick you picked up at some point. Should I congratulate you?”
Eddie: And as for your other statement… I am not the Bat. I not rely on a child to do my work. No matter how smart she is, children break easier, no? … Especially my daughter.
“And there’s no need to take that tone with me. I am reformed, after all.
Children break rather easily, yes, but the Bat seems to keep forgetting that. At least you seem to have more sense.”
About Ask Nigma & Crane
